Wednesday, 28 September 2022

Morning page #166

 I woke at ...I'm not sure ...9:40 something maybe 9:50 something. I went to the toilet (number 1). Still maintain that it's not a morning routine. It's not a choice. Was going to say/ write I don't do it every morning but it's the same for the actual morning routine. 


God save the Queen is in my head.


Will they change the Queen in that song to King now?

No the song is the song.


Maybe they will change the song. I'm not sure about that one. Now I'm thinking about all the things that will change starting with the money. 


10:07 am a cup of detox tea (Twinnings) in front of me. Family Guy season 13 on the Mac. 


I'm trying to get out of the habit of thinking of what I say/ what I do as wrong full stop. Yesterday there was food, chips and some vegetables in a pot. Because everyone was asleep I couldn't ask the question is that for me? There was only enough for one person (the chips anyway)

My choices 

To leave it 

Just because there was BBQ sauce on the table. Maybe it was my sister that ate that.

Why would my mum wait, My mum still may not have had her share. If that is the case I can always just make more. I don't know so if I'm wrong it's not like I did it on purpose.


To take it

For the reasons above. I'm hungry and I don't think my mum will be as mad as my brain is trying to tell me. 


I did take it with some rice which was a little lot spicy. The thing with spice is I can't take it up scotch bonnets chillies and like not even there drop of hot sauce. Because I grew up in an African home I'm used to that level. Anything hotter I would struggle. I hate it when the spice makes me cough. That's the point to enjoy the food.  


Today I found out my decision was right after a bit of what I thought was 


You took the chips I was going to eat,


Mum was looking for it to give to me. Like I said thinking that I am wrong first. Also, there was something in the oven. I will not go down the road of beating myself up about that and it's something to eat this morning.


24 minutes, see you when I see you. 

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