Morning Pages #97

11: 22 am, a cup of fresh ginger and water in front of me. I have not had fresh garlic and water for a while it is ok, but it is not a favourite. I would probably put it last after Lemon and Lime, but I still like it. Agatha Christie's Marple on my Mac. There are 18 episodes, so I have been watching it for days. One of the things I love about this show is the amazing guest stars. Even people I never thought would be on (looking at you Holly Willoughby)

Yesterday was the 21st day of the 21 days of abundance I was doing. The last day was to review in a video, audio, or text form. I choose text form. I wrote it out first, then when it came time to record, I couldn't do it. It felt like when I talk to someone on the phone and I forget things I wanted to say.

"I advise you to make a video next time,"

I started overthinking and regretting. I tell myself I know why I did it that way and that's good enough for me.

My eyes just started itching again.

I am so grateful for these Morning Pages. It is going to help me to write my books, writing without a filter, without editing along the way. I have been learning to do that with my feelings. That includes being in love. I think I reached a turning point when I admitted it to myself only last year. I always told myself it was just a crush (even though it has been 10+ years). I  told myself everything to get rid of my feelings. Just like I did my shy and quietness. Not that he is a horrible person no regrets about not telling even though he is not single now.

"My feelings are valid,"

My wrist always aches when I write on paper and I get pins and needles in my ring finger and my little finger only (for some reason). Maybe there is something I can use or do to stop it; I will look it up after this.  

36 minutes, see you when I see you.

Morning Pages #96 FH letters

7:23 AM, Well I thought it's about time I started writing these again..., I don't know how long the last one was. I think at least a week, maybe more.

Update: It was 3 weeks, thereabouts.

It’s one of those I haven’t been to sleep and also haven’t done anything productive. As I stayed up all night unless you count watching TV productive. Even though I haven’t been to sleep I'm still wide awake. So I sit on my bed with a cup of tea (carefully) and inspector Morse (the first episode) On my Mac.
PS: some of the acting in the first episode at least was questionable, but let’s not get into that, this show is a treasure.

My eyes have been itching me for days. I mean I know they say rubbing them makes it worse, ah, I just can’t help it. Whoops, I better check my tea, I bet it’s cold now…almost. Now I have my tea in my hand so the rest of this will be slow.

A few days ago I found myself on Google researching wants vs needs. Which from previous morning pages you will know I’m obsessed with. Anyway, somehow I got on to FH letters, future husband. I wrote my first one in 2015 after a family members wedding rehearsal. The feeling is you never regret it whether you end up getting married or not. That letter was written as a poem. I regret not writing FH letters from the beginning. I do regret that more than I regret not telling that guy how I was feeling.

25 minutes, see you when I see you.

Morning Pages #95

8:43 a.m. A cup of tea in front of me, never have I ever on Netflix. I thought I'd take a break from binge-watching Highway to Heaven. This is very short.
I haven't written a morning page for about a week. I am awake now so I might as well write it.

Just reached the part in 'Never have I ever,' when a character comes out to her mum. And oh my... tears, this show though don't. It was honest, the mom's reaction was honest. She said  ' I don't know what to say,' and then she later said 'Nothing you say will make me not love you,' it got me thinking about the fact that this scene would never be in Highway to Heaven bearing in mind it was made in the 80s.

35 minutes, see you when I see you.