Morning pages #118

 11: 25am, huh I thought it was later. Chips meatballs and Yorkshire pudding in front of me, Family guy on the mac.

I didn’t plan to write a morning page today. Well, none of them is planned really. I just felt overwhelmed that I should after the sentence.

‘I’m sick of trying to please people, ‘

I mean I’m a grown woman I know what I need. What got me here is my work coach asking me to ask something I’m ok not knowing. I can’t worry about being unemployed. Sure, I can get a call/email saying can you come for an interview tomorrow but I can’t worry about that today. I’m ok not knowing about next month. I need! my life to be, whatever happens, happens. I need my life to be as easy as possible.

14 minutes, see you when I see you.

Morning pages #117 2.2.22

8: 13 am, a cup of heart tea in front of me. No lie that's actually what it's called, It smells like blackcurrant. I was inspired to write this today because of the date. 

Right now the thing on my mind that is causing me the most stress is the job centre/universal credit. I have an appointment tomorrow and I haven't stopped thinking about it since the last one. Which was 28th Jan (Yes, it is too soon). Every two weeks are you kidding me, I just can't keep this up. my life is now jobcentre appointment, worry about the next, jobcentre appointment worry about the next, jobcentre appointment worry about the next. I desperately need to not need to use the jobcentre. I'm sorry UC but I need this relationship to end and end fast. I've been doing these affirmations for this year so far and it will continue for the remainder. doing them helps me to change my mindset. It's what I am mainly focused on right now,

15 minutes, see you when I see you