You got this.

I applied for a job (customer service,training) a few days ago (27 November). To be honest it was the

"Don't worry If you're lacking in skills" 
that drew me to it.

I thought to myself I'm just going to apply to this, what's the worst that could happen, you don't get a response.
And like a good friend once said

"If you don't ask, you don't get."

I got a call the next day inviting me for an interview. The lady told me they hand picked my CV. I think I said at one point. you saw my CV. The day came, I was told to wear business attire. So I went there in my jeans, t-shirt and trainers...just kidding (I don't own trainers...well I do but, I haven't worn them in years I'm guessing they probably don't fit me anymore) I know what business means.
The place was pretty easy to find. The interview started well, then the guy started talking about the next stage sort of like a trial run, then he said...

"Face to face."

and

"Observation"

Ooh...uh.

"We'll call you back between 4-6 today to let you know if you will be moving on to the next step (I feel like I'm on X-factor). If you don't hear from us, you were not successful."

Sitting on the bus, negative voice piped up...

'If you get the call back, if being the operative word...there is no way that they won't find out the truth. That you're too shy and quiet to ever be able to do this job.'

Positive voice (God) was having none of it...

'You can do this, Esther. Remember everything happens for a reason. God would not have put you here if he didn't think you could do it."

Well it's 2 am in the morning so I'm guessing I didn't get it. I'm not too dishearten, in the words of Westlife...

"You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete."

Yes I did just quote Westlife...or their writers at least...I joke, I was a fan of Westlife, loved their songs.
I will tell you this It's amazing what wearing a suit can do to your confidence, Maybe, I'll only wear suits from now on.
When one door closes another one opens...I got a text from the manager of a McDonald to come in for an interview,fingers crossed.

Saturday 16th January 2016

Today I'm going to another bowling meet up. This time it's at Rowans ten pin bowling club in North London.
So I left my house at 11:30am still worried I wouldn't find it or I'd be late. I got there around 1:50pm. The place was right in front of me. I didn't see anyone so I stood at the entrance. When 2:30 came and went I got worried. I went outside used the call back option to call the hosts phone, no answer. I went to wifi on my iPad. It worked thank god. I sent a message on the group. I got a reply within seconds. They were all inside it was great. I'm glad I egnored my insecurities and worries and just went with my gut. I meet some nice people.

Christmas 2015

I woke up around 8am to get ready. I washed myself and brushed my teeth and we left the house at 11am. Me, My Grandma, Dorcas and Elaine took the cab, whilst my Mum, Eric and Sarah took the underground. The train left the station at 1:07 and we arrived in Liverpool at 3ish.
Christmas Day.
I woke up showered, bruised my teeth and in the evening we ate (what more do you need).
Roast Potatoes
Mac and Cheese
Chicken
Stew
Salad
Rice (white and Jellof)
Beef
Lamb
Gravy
Turkey...can't forget the turkey
Boxing Day.
Family (that wasn't me) went to buy some presents. Eventually when everyone had wrapped each and every present. We all sat in the living room. My brother Tops gave them out one by one. And one by one we opened them (there was a lot). We were done in about an hour. I thought it would take us longer.
On Sunday we all went to the Potters House Church. Pastor Yomi spoke about the inner you. About having the outside match the inside. He talked about a man who killed his wife and then killed his kids because they witnessed it. He told a few stories about people who committed crimes. Why because their insides were not right with God. God knows about the secret doors, the doors that you don't want anyone to see. The doors you didn't even know were there.
What I took from it is getting your mindset on the right track with God, your thoughts, your feelings. Things you say need to be of God. You need to worry about yourself not anyone else. Because at the end of the day it's about you and only you. I think that what God was trying to drill into my head is...it will be you standing at the heavenly gates. So only you decide what comes in and affects you. Learn to let the things...the words that hurt you, that are unhealthy to your mind. Leave them behind don't let them come into your mind.
We stayed until the second of January. Most of the family had gone home by the 1st so New Year's Day was quiet.