Your only human.

 I put a Morning page on my to-do list because God said I should. Not thinking I would get to but I actually ended up writing one today. 

I thought to myself I never gonna not believe you the first time around again.

God said 'No, you will and that's ok, because that's a human reaction, you are not wrong for not believing me first. Remember I already know how you will react before you react. You can never offend me, ever.

Morning page #201 Remember that.

 I woke at 7:58 and went to the toilet. I wasn't going to write a morning page today. I thought I wouldn't be able to because I fell asleep but I woke again at 10:30 am. I went to the kitchen and I was making tea then at the last minute, I decided to make hot chocolate.

10:53 am Family Guy on Disney+ I slept to it. I was watching some episodes on youtube ('cause I can't watch disney+ on iPad unless I download the app) but they got taken down, I'm guessing something to do with copyright. Though still some up there still.

Like I said in a tiktok I have been experienceing relaization after realizaton.

I have always found comfort in signs. That was what my first Instagram photo was, a picture of waterdrops in the shape of hearts. 

I have decided to just post them when they come to me. As soon as they come to me. This blog is and has always been for my future self. I think it's about time I remembered that.

Manifesting my dream life, Marriage, kids, happiness. Everything else is a bonus.

10 minutes, see you when I see you

Just now realised

 The affirmation I’ve been saying for the past 72 days now.

“I’m letting go of people’s judgement,”

Was also including myself in that statement🤯

Morning page #200

 11: 49 am I woke up a second before to ask me what my eBay login was. I haven't used eBay in years mate.

I have done my routine of going to the kitchen and making a cup of tea (today was Moringa tea) hours ago. I really wanted to write a morning page. I put it on my whiteboard for the past two days. I've woken early in the morning (like 3 am early) and couldn't decide what to fall asleep to (TV/Movie) nowadays it's between family guys. Youtube so GMM or watch later lists (because I have more than one channel) I recently started bingeing NCIS Hawaii again. Season 2 is up and the rest of season 1. I can't remember if it's always been there. I'm pretty sure it's all new. 

I'm feeling hella frustrated about the things that are temporary in my life. I'm not going to mention them because I said them many times on here. I've always known that I was destined for better. Now to be so close to the better, but still, have to answer another about what I am doing and why I m doing it. It is just not the one, it makes me want to scream inside.

I am manifesting my dream life, marriage, kids', happiness, everything else is a bonus.

15 minutes, see you when I see you.

Morning Page #199

 I woke at 4 something and went to the toilet. 

I had some uncertainty this morning. It was uncertainty over what to watch but uncertainty all the same. I was thinking of GMM season 14 maybe Family Guy. I settled with catching up on NCIS Hawaii. I will live there one day. 

Woke again at 11:05 to my mum saying 

'You  forgot to do the charity commission,'

The type of stuff I need/ want out of my life in the future admin s***...be gone.

11: 40 am Youtube on iPad, a cup of Masala chai tea in front of me.

Currently watching GMM Link progressively getting angrier vid from Mythical moments. 

Tea check: drinkable

I really wanted to write a morning page but I'd forgotten what I was going to write about. 

No, I have to cut it short here I can't think right now.

It's 12:12

Manifesting my dream life, marriage, kids, and happiness. Everything else is a bonus. 

32 minutes, see you when I see you.

Estherology 2023

  Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name

followed by "ology".


***********FOODOLOGY***************

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Mayonnaise 


What is your favourite sit-down restaurant?
KFC

What food could you eat every day for two weeks without getting sick?
Pasta

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Pineapple (just being honest here), sausage, and more cheese.

What do you like to put on your toast?
Peanut butter, Jam, egg (I'm counting that it didn't say spread, even though that's what it probably means)

***********TECHNOLOGY***************

How many televisions are in your house?
One

What color cell phone do you have?
Blue 

***************BIOLOGY******************

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right-Handed

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
When I was in school I had an earring stuck in my left ear (yea I think that counts)

What is the last heavy item you lifted?

The sofa

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
No

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

If possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No thank you. My life would be focused on that day.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Nothing when I was younger I didn't like my name. I wanted to change it to something like Shanique or something.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
No.

************DUMBOLOGY******************

How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
One

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Never

The last person, you talked to?
Mum (literary seconds ago)

The last person, you hugged?

It was definitely a family member.


**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

Season?
Summer

Holiday?
Christmas

Day of the week?
Saturday

Month?
August (because it's my birthday)

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

Missing someone?
A certain someone (nuff said)

Mood?
Tired

What are you listening to?
Nothing

Watching?
Family guy s12 e 21 Chap Stewie

**************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

The first place you went this morning?
The kitchen

What was the last movie you saw?
It's a wonderful life

Do you smile often?
Very much so. 

Sleeping Alone Tonight?
Yep


***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************

1)Do you always answer your phone?
Hardly ever, you're best to email me (no joke)

2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Reminder for a Universal Credit/ restart scheme appointment.

3) If you could change your eye colour what would it be?
I wouldn't.

4) What flavour do you add to your drink at Sonic?
Still haven't had that before.

5)Do you own a digital camera?
Technically yes, but I haven't used it in two years.

6)Have you ever had a pet fish?
No...

7) Favorite Christmas song(s)
Last Christmas: Wham (hands down)

8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?
A message from that certain someone.

9) Can you do push-ups?
Of course.

10) Can you do a chin-up?
I could probably do one.

11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
So excited

12) Do you have any saved texts?
 Not at the moment.

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
No, but I nearly fell out of one once (I was sitting on my Granma's lap)

14) Do you have an accent?
A London one, yea.

15) What is the last song to make you cry?
Sun goes down by Lil nas

16) Plans tonight?
Stay in bed and sleep.

17)Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
I did

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Nothing

19) Have you ever been given roses?
No

20) Current worry?
Worries have been less this past year.

21) Current hate right now?
Universal credit.

22) Met someone who changed your life?
Yeah. manly friends.

23) How will you bring in the New Year?
It's been and gone

24) What song represents you?
Christina Aguilera the voice within

25) Name three people who might complete this?
No one probably.

26) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
depends if I could go back as I am now then yes. But if I went back as I was back then forget it

27) Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Nope

28) Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
Just ears pierced.

29) Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
I am manifesting my dream life, that's all I will say.

30) Does anyone love you?
Yes, a few people do.

31) Would you be a pirate?
er.........No

32) What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever is in my head.

33) Ever had someone sing to you?
Nope


34) When did you last cry?
can't remember

36) Do you like to cuddle?
Yes.

37) Have you held hands with anyone today?
Nope.

38) Who was the last person you took a picture of?
My niece and nephew

39)What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
pop mainly

40) Do you believe in staying close to your exes/prospects?


41) Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
I have more old friends than I do new.

42)Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Sure

43)What is something your friends make fun of you for?
Nothing