6:57am, No nothing just Family Guy on my apple mac.
I think I am going to write half now and half of this after
my UC appointment (I hate it when they give me a morning appointment). I woke
at 6: 17 today, I've been recording my sleep, for no other reason but to have
the information (and potentially better sleep) Which is why I know that useless
information.
I think it's funny when you look back on something and
realise it was deeper than that.
Like chewing gum, I was thinking it was just about a bad
breath crutch, but it was distracting me from my never switch off mind.
Originally morning pages were going to be something for me
to post on this sight sigt website (wow I've forgotten how to spell that
word, damn it, I meant blog...wow)
Thought it helped me to remove the filter I developed
because I care too much about what people think of me. Accepting that was a big
turning point for me. (I'm thinking I might not continue this after my UC
appointment, I'm not sure. You'll find out when you read this) I don't tell
myself not to anymore. My intuition is strong and always has been. My
hesitation/ filter I allowed people to tell me I was wrong.
Ok here is what my life is no filter.
No1: UC (Universal Credit in case you're wondering) needs to
be gone from my life and I'm more working on getting it out of my life than
getting a job, that's the truth.
No2: I am an introvert that's not really a surprise, but I
prefer being alone to being with people. If you see me know that I'm worried
about something. I may smile and laugh but alternately I'm stressing about what
I need to do next. If you see two people one person hanging with people, the
other spending time alone and sleeping a lot. You might make the mistake that
the second person is going through depression but it's the opposite for me.
No3: I've been obsessing over watching Tarot card reading
videos on YouTube. You may as a Christian say
'Ooh that's not good those things are from the devil,'
just like meditating. What it has done for though has fuelled
my hope. I for the first time have let myself believe that my crush the
love of my life/ future hubby feels the same way (16 years)
33 minutes, see you when I see you.
