I’m from a
Christian background. My mum was and still is a senior Pastor.
So I grew up going to church on Sunday.
Fasting in the morning and breaking with tea and fruits when we came back.
I was 14 years old
when I first said the sinner’s prayer and I remember it like it was yesterday. We were all at Mission to London in Earls
Court.
Anyway two boys
were arguing
One was saying if
your parents are saved that means you are too.
The other was
saying you have to make that decision for yourself.
I sided with the
first boy, I don’t know why. I think deep down I knew it was wrong, which is
why I went home that night and said the sinner’s prayer.
I left school with
disappointing grades...disappointing for me. For one reason and one reason only
I didn’t study.
Soon as I got home
I put my books away (unless I had homework) and didn’t pick it up until school
the next day.
The following year
I was retaking my GCSE’s. I felt like it was going the same way as my original
GCSE’s so I left. Actually I lost my college ID one day and instead of asking for another I just used it as an excuse.
A few courses and
years past and it was 2006. I was on job seekers allowance. I had done an introduction
to childcare and was doing a NVQ in childcare. A lot of things happened, like
me missing my appointment to see one nursery and one nursery saying yes and
then saying they found someone else.
That was the first
time I went through depression, only I didn’t know what it was all I knew is I
was sad a lot and didn’t want to do anything. That lasted for 6 months. At the
end I was soaking wet with tears and with a knife in my hands I looked up and
said
“Help me please”
I’ll tell you
right now and you can believe it or not God actually took the knife out of my
hand.
The next day my
brother said
“Esther, why don’t
you come to church tomorrow”
God said
“Do it, you asked
and I’m telling you”
The date was 8th
October 2006
The Pastor prayed
and I made sure my hand was seen and that was it I was saved.
Again things
happened, courses completed and years past.
2009, it was the
same way it happened last time. I was on a NVQ childcare.
This time it
lasted for 5 years, I’d be worrying
‘I’m late
twenties, I need to do something before it’s too late.’
God would say
“Don’t stress your
age doesn’t matter when you’re ready you’ll start”
Thanks to God after
visiting my GP for a third time. I found out that I could check into a hospital
at anytime.
Today my relationship
with God is the best it’s ever been. Just like eating and peeing I talk to him
every day.
I don’t need to go
to church or put my hands together. I don’t even need to close my eyes all I
need to do is open my mouth. Talking to God is like breathing. This is why when
God tells me to do something I just do it.
No arguments because God sees the bigger picture. He knows me better
than anyone in the world. He knows how I’ll feel and how I’ll act.
At the end of the
day it’s about you. People can say this and they can say that, but when it
comes down to it. It’s going to be between you and God. It will be you and only
you standing at the gates of heaven when you die.