Morning page #127 Tarot card reading

 7:25am a cup of Moringa tea (btw I've had it so much I can now spell it without looking at the name) currently I'm watching youtube. Tarot card reading to be exact. I'm writing this on A4 paper (which was the original idea) because I just realised I have no more pages in my notebook, I've ordered more though.

Tarot reading has given me a lot and I've not even been watching them for 3 months yet. 

{1} it has lessened my anxiety just before a UC appointment (like today at 2:30) 

It all started I think with me finding the trick' look at the best case scenario,' the advice was to write it down. thought I would need to write it down but it's easy now just to think about it. 

{2} It has made me positive about my love life. No, nothing has changed but I'm more positive about the future and real positive and not just a fake it till you make it positive. See way back when I was feeling stuff that turned into love. I didn't say that to him in words and that was my choice. because I wasn't more than 50% sure he felt the same way and I wasn't willing to risk it. And for that, I can't have a regret.

My UC appointment is actually a restart scheme appointment. Before tarot card reading came into my life I would worry a week before that everything that could go wrong would go wrong. Didn't do that this time, I mean I did a day before but I'll take my wins. I have the saying 'in and out,' in my head so I can focus not on the actual appointment but on getting there and getting home. in the back of my mind I am thinking about being put on a course I don't need and having to explain to my work coach why because all I have is I don't want it. Also thinking about being told off (yea that doesn't go away) for something I didn't do, like searching for work. 

I'll probably write this up when I get back from my appointment so I'll update you on how it went

Update: I wasn't late, that's number 1. It wasn't smooth, but I am proud of myself for standing my ground. Though I am worried this isn't over (riddles) They may try to convince me to do this...let's just say course I don't need.

PS: Not a fan of the A4 size, I'll keep my A6 notebook.

24 minutes, see you when I see you.

Morning page #126 let life happen

8:37 AM, a couple Moringa tea in front of me. Honestly, It smells like farts but it tastes...not like farts. 

The second time I was woken up by what sounded like a bang. I'm 95% sure it was just my niece playing with her toys. 

I am currently happy, so I decided to write a morning page. 

'Bless the harts,' on Disney+. 

I'm happy because I had a successful lucid dream (and I just now remember the second dream I had (not lucid) so I am pausing this to write that down) That dream was about a postman coming to collect my art competition entry and he waited patiently in his car while I photocopied it. Post people, patience those two words don’t go together.

My life is in a let life happen stage, I am focusing on signs and listening to my intuition and not trying to control things too much. A couple of days ago my GP appointment just disappeared after I called a day before to confirm it. How can you with a straight face say there is no record.

23 minutes, see you when I see you.