Woke at 10:08 am and I went to the toilet. Family guy season 2 episode 14 (which I worked out because the next episode to be played is episode 15) on mac, the breakfast club one. So now that ending is in my head
'A bum...a bum...'
Also
'Don't you forget about me,' song in my head
10:26 am no nothing in front of me because I am tired. Dream but can't remember. I got an email about writing a letter to my future self in a year and it caused me to look at the other future me letters I have written. I couldn't find it, I couldn't remember where I put it. It's looking like I c=accidently threw it away. If it doesn't turn up in the next few days I will assume that's what happened. It's a shame. Every time I look at the love letters (which I've written since 2015) I'm scared of accidentally throwing them away. Making me wonder if I should type it up, at this point, there are 30. I think between now and this time next year they probably will be on USB.
When I went to the toilet I saw the chairs from the garden by the door ( of my room). I assume my mum wants me to put it back. Yea what other explanation is there? It would be easier if I just asked her. But talking to people is difficult for me. It's just one of those things I gained. Having to guess because my confidence in asking/ talking to people is shockingly low. It's not just about lack of confidence it's about being wrong. If my mum was to say yea in turn ' state the obvious,' I would feel worse than if I guessed and decided for myself. I'd feel like an idoit idiot and my brain wouldn't let me forget how stupid. Learnt though and I realise now that that was in place to protect me and it was all put there to help me navigate this mess of a world in safety.
20 minutes, see you when I see you
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