11:04 am go to the toilet. My morning routine consists of a cup of tea and then washing the plates in the sink.
Should I wash the plates before or after I write this?
11:28 am sink empty, just realised today is my wash day, teeth, hair, face, bath (though I do teeth and bath on other days too)
Should I now or after?
11:52 am I am back clean and refreshed.
Should I put lotion or just leave it?
Should I leave this morning’s page at that, rip it out and not post it because it’s nearly 12?
12:09 pm a cup of peppermint tea in front of me. I usually don’t write one after 12 but I’m making an exception because I had a busy…well hour really.
I had a love song in my head, and I was going to write guess why. Now that song has gone from my head.
Today’s morning page is titled
how I healed
number one for me is acceptance. I may not have written this on these pages (I think I did but I won’t be checking) I am an everything happens for a reason girl at heart. Even when I don’t know the reason just knowing there is one is enough. There are so many things that I know were put there for my survival. Things that didn’t let me subcome to the sadness let the sadness keep me down Music, tv, random songs in my head. At first, I was doing it because it was fun. I believe God showed them to me as signs. Anyway, acceptance…I right now am going through a spiritual awakening. Started in 2019 when I decided to feel my feels and not tell myself to I don’t feel what I clearly do because if the evidence doesn’t fit. I think I’m, not the only one but if there’s a room of 9 other people who all think the same way it takes a lot of courage to say
‘uh..actually…,’
And I think most of us will sit down and fall into line. The fact is those 9 people thinking differently don’t change what you feel. Feel my feels, guess what it started with.
Mt acceptance of the feelings I have for the guy I've known for nearly 20 years, still there, still stronger.
23 minutes, see you when I see you.
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