Morning page #249 Every inch of self, including weaknesses

I woke at 10:20 am well rested because I slept 11 hours (slept at 11 pm last night, woke at 2:50 am slept again. at 3:21 am). I've been neglecting the moringa tea and two others (Senna and Slimitee) those, don't smell like moringa (fartbut they taste the same. I should really research/look at the box because I vaguely remember there weren't any ingredients on the box but I could be wrong

11:11 am, a cup of Senna tea In front of me. Woke to my stand-up playlist on YouTube. Now I'm watching Spiderman Homecoming. I've been watching the Marvel movies in timeline order. Almost missed this one because it's not on Disney+. I wonder why, it's still Marvel. I don't think the second one is either. 

If I were going to give my best advice in the year 2023

These pages are about honesty, so I tell you the truth. I was daydreaming about being asked that on a random show.

Not knowing what you are going through right now 'don't  tell yourself to not.'

I'm at a point in my life where I can't allow myself to do things to please others anymore so let's take my love life for example. My feelings have been high since day one. Thinking of him hasn't brought me anything but Joy. Until my overthink voice pipes up 

'You're an idiot for believing he feels the same way about you that you do about him. I mean come look at the evidence its been almost 17 years. He's probably married,  happily with 6 kids. I'm not going to shut up that part of me because there's a reason for it.

When your best friend tells you they are getting married again when you haven't even been lucky enough to call someone you're boyfriend (not a personal story but not totally untrue). Ignoring my feelings of frustration and when is it my turn, going straight to I should be happy for her I am happy for her. The fact that I'm 39 and still single is the reason. My feelings are a human reaction, I can ignore that.

I recently realised I need to embrace every inch of myself. Including my weakness.

-12:55

1 hour: 44 minutes see you when I see you.

Update: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is not on Disney Plus because of a deal between Sony and Netflix. Netflix will have exclusive access to Sony movies like Across the Spider-Verse for the “pay one window.” This can last up to 18 months, so expect Netflix to have the exclusive license for quite some time

Senna:  Senna Leaves

Slimitee: Senna, Peppermint, Ginger, Cerassie (Karela) and Lemongrass