Saturday, 16 September 2023

Morning page #239

Woke at 9:10 am, emptied my bladder then went to the kitchen.

09:49 am a cup of loose tea leaf in front of me. Diagnosis Murder on the laptop. I woke to the hot house episode. 

A few days ago I questioned myself, as I do. I found myself asking 

'Am I actually autistic or just a high empath,'

I thought for about a second. I was reminded of the thing that cemented it in my head...Masking. When I read the things a high empath has all of them were true for me (every single one) I think people always knew there was something. Like I have said before I was considered shy. That says I struggled with my confidence. I always knew it was more than that. Always had 'Am I wrong, am I right,' on a loop in my head. This led to hesitation and filtering. I was always on alert, robot-like. In fact (this just came to me) there are people that I still do that with, filter myself. Only a few people where I'm truly myself. Where the 'Am I wrong am I right,' is low. In the future, I want to spend more time with those people and less with others.

All dreams are possible. 
I'm ready for the next chapter to begin 
51 minutes see you when I see you.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Morning Page #291 Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Merry Christmas and a happy new year. Currently Its 5:48 In the afternoon. I know its not morning but I really wanted to write this on New y...