9:43am had another argument with my Grandma. It started when she told my Mum I hit her. This is argument number 1000…and one. Yesterday she knocked on my door and said
‘Look at you, you don’t even know how to ask me If I want to eat,'
So I closed the door, nothing else. My Grandma has a Demon inside her. It’s the kind of Demon that breaths by arguing, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had pointless or unnecessary arguments with her. A Demon that is angry all the time. A Demon who is always mad. A Demon who can see you having fun and wants to stop it immediately.
I don’t know if she’s always been like this because I’ve only known her as my Grandma. I meet her when I was 8 and before her, I never met anyone like her. In recent years I have stopped treating myself like something on the bottom of my shoe, so I don’t accept it from anyone else and that has essentially changed my relationship with my Grandma because I have switched off the Demon whenever it wakes.
Talking to her is like flipping a coin to a multiple-choice question and whatever you land on is wrong. I can’t live like that anymore, I refuse to live like that anymore.
20 minutes today, see you when I see you.
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