I awoke then a few minutes later it turned 10:10 am. I stayed in bed for a few minutes posting Tiktok filter videos. hmmm, I guess I've been spending less and less time scrolling on my phone in the morning these days. Washed the plates in the sink and... I made my tea the other way water, milk tea bag because the Graze tea bag is in my room.
11: 41 am GMM season 23 on my laptop.
Tea check: drinkable
Whilst washing I was overthinking, as I do. I was thinking about the past when someone would ask me...
"Why don't you ever talk?"
I guess it was a rhetorical question, but then the person would look at me like 'Did you not understand the question?'. Which used to frustrate me so much.
Anyway not the point
It lead to me thinking why I am so reluctant to talk not just about my problems. As we have established before I am 80% thinking 20% words. It's because I can't trust another to have my...to treat my heart with fragility (is that even a word) to handle my heart with kid gloves...uh my heart is glass...yea, you get it.
The reason I can't trust others to hold my heart with...fragility (I think that's the wrong word) is because they don't know it. Don't get me wrong there are many many people in my life who know my heart between 80% and 95% (maybe 99.9999%). The only one who knows my heart 100% is God (and my future husband)
All dreams are impossible before they become possible. The doubts make my walls stronger.
45 minutes, see you when I see you
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