Woke up at 11: 27 went to the toilet, and then went to the kitchen. I thought this was a good opportunity to write a morning page. I don't always feel like it when I'm on my monthly.
12: 29 I decided to let go of my rule of not writing one if it's past 12. I think as long as I wake up before 12 It's fine. A cup of Pause tea (which Is Raspberry and hibiscus with blackberry leaves and Caribbean Gold peppermint tea with black Sage, sea moss and sarsaperling) family guy episodes on YouTube. They actually have new episodes on there surprisingly. It will probably get taken down soon.
Sometimes it's hard to be a late bloomer. It's hard not to go down the 'when my turn, road. When I have taken a wrong turn down comparing myself avenue. Because that's what I've been all my life. It's hard to be patient sometimes. When God says you are exactly where you need to be right here right now. But I haven't changed where I am in years. God says nothing you do is wrong. He says
"what you need to do is what you are doing."
I take that to mean there Are no more lessons to be learnt. So why hasn't it happened yet? I think I'm crazy for believing my crush loves me because I'll start overthinking about what he is doing. That makes me think about him being happily married with his six kids. The only things I know about him are his name and his age (birth year)
I think I said this before In one of these but I'll say it again. I'm not a conversationalist. Everything I know about my friends I was told or saw them post on social media. If I see people walking around that look like you l assume they are your family members. Unless you say that's my sister, that's my mum I don't have that information. Then I'll get a glimpse of the future of my crush finally admitting his feelings and why he stayed away for so long. If this is not the reason I don't know what is because all these things daydreams didn't need to happen. I could have learnt self-love without it.
57 minutes (but I did go to the toilet in between) see you when I see you.
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