Morning page #255

I woke, but I didn't look at the time. I stayed in bed another hour or so I think. I'm going to guess I woke at 12 something. I could say I woke at 11: 11 it is 12/12 after all. Angel numbers and all. When I did look at the time It was 13:01. I had two dreams in the night. An actor being chased, an actor from the Marvel movie I watched last night.  And I was with two of my closest friends and we were reading the Bible (in the second one)

I had a quick shower and made myself a cup of tea in my new self-stirring mug. The only thing is you need to take the bag out, It's fine. it's just a habit I need to get to. yes, I always leave the bag in my tea, always. I think we as a society need to let go of judgement like when I warm my tea in the microwave. I get judgmental eyes from family members. Before you silently judged me I already had in my head the reason you wouldn't warm your tea in the microwave And that's the difference between me and you. That's what makes me unique.

I decided to binge-watch the Marvel movies in timeline order. watching the latest Dr Strange one. They talk a lot about the multiverse and It got me thinking about what my different versions would look like. After my research of making the opposite choice I made. It's the me without fear, which leads to a 'speaks more than I think' person. I also explored the things that shaped who I am. Like if I was an only child for example.

I forgot to write the time, let's just say 2 pm.

What I've concluded is in most of my versions I died at 22. In 2006 I was going through depression and I had the worst day up to and since then. I thought about the things that stopped me, it wasn't just God. The second thing I've concluded...well it's settled In my mind that I am exactly where I'm meant to be right here now. Because in the versions where I made it through I still ended up in the same place I am in 2023.

35 minutes see you when I see you