To be patient or not to be patient, that is the question.

"Have patients with all things but, first of all with yourself"

"Just because something isn't happening for you right now, doesn't mean it will never happen"

"Patience is a virtue"

 "Patience is the road to understanding which is the key to a happy heart"

The last one is a quote from Phoebe Buffay of FRIENDS but it's still true. Just a good example of Phoebe's dim but smart personality and yes I know she's just a character, I just...I digress.

If I was to give anyone advice shy or not I'd say don't try to be something you're not, It's not worth it.  Take it from someone who has been running away from their honest self for 20 years or so. In those 20 years or so this is the first time I feel...relaxed, relaxed and calm. I'm the most confident I every been.
For the first time in forever I'm busting with excitement about what is to come. I have a long list of things I want to do, to achieve.
Having patience and being a think first person are two of my best qualities. Which is why I think the taking things day by day or living for today is going to work for me.

I've been worrying about keeping my
'spend less time in my room, go out more goal'.
I mean I have ideas but what am I going to do for now, today.
Whist I was going through depression on my endless browse through the internet. I came across a group for depression sufferers. The group meets 1 or 2 times a week for dinner and a chat. I never actually been to any but I still get the regular emails.

So looked up the website the group came from and it turns out they're not the only ones. It's a website for shy people to arrange meetings and get togethers. Whether it be a cinema trip, a trip to a restaurant or just a chat. I came across a meet up for a bowling trip at the Hollywood bowl. I've been bowling once before and I enjoyed it so I decided why not.

On the day I woke up up 7am I tried to get a few hours sleep in me but the worry wouldn't allow it. I kept going back and forth about going or not going. Trying my best to ignore the negative voice in my head I eventually left my house at 5pm. I'm glad I did I had a great time and meet some great people.

In review I think that I will always be a shy person in some way I'm almost 100 percent sure of that. I'm never going to be the one at the party who never shuts up or who can't get off the dance floor (not that there are dance floors at the parties I go to)
When I was on the show 'Get a life'  it was said that no one is born shy but I have to say I strongly disagree with that. When I was in hospital I had a conversation with the doctor who was asking 'why are you like this? (Shy) something must have happened to trigger your shyness. And I just kept thinking to myself this doctor wants a different answer than what I'm giving her which was
'no I've always been like this'
It's my personality getting rid of that would be like losing a limb.