My history with God

I’m from a Christian background. My mum was and still is a senior Pastor.

 So I grew up going to church on Sunday. Fasting in the morning and breaking with tea and fruits when we came back.

I was 14 years old when I first said the sinner’s prayer and I remember it like it was yesterday.  We were all at Mission to London in Earls Court.

Anyway two boys were arguing

One was saying if your parents are saved that means you are too.

The other was saying you have to make that decision for yourself.

I sided with the first boy, I don’t know why. I think deep down I knew it was wrong, which is why I went home that night and said the sinner’s prayer.

I left school with disappointing grades...disappointing for me. For one reason and one reason only I didn’t study.

Soon as I got home I put my books away (unless I had homework) and didn’t pick it up until school the next day.

The following year I was retaking my GCSE’s. I felt like it was going the same way as my original GCSE’s so I left. Actually I lost my college ID one day and instead of asking for another I just used it as an excuse.

A few courses and years past and it was 2006. I was on job seekers allowance. I had done an introduction to childcare and was doing a NVQ in childcare. A lot of things happened, like me missing my appointment to see one nursery and one nursery saying yes and then saying they found someone else.

That was the first time I went through depression, only I didn’t know what it was all I knew is I was sad a lot and didn’t want to do anything. That lasted for 6 months. At the end I was soaking wet with tears and with a knife in my hands I looked up and said

“Help me please”

I’ll tell you right now and you can believe it or not God actually took the knife out of my hand.                                    

The next day my brother said

“Esther, why don’t you come to church tomorrow”

God said

“Do it, you asked and I’m telling you”

The date was 8^th October 2006

The Pastor prayed and I made sure my hand was seen and that was it I was saved.

Again things happened, courses completed and years past.

2009, it was the same way it happened last time. I was on a NVQ childcare.

This time it lasted for 5 years, I’d be worrying

‘I’m late twenties, I need to do something before it’s too late.’

God would say

“Don’t stress your age doesn’t matter when you’re ready you’ll start”

Thanks to God after visiting my GP for a third time. I found out that I could check into a hospital at anytime.

Today my relationship with God is the best it’s ever been. Just like eating and peeing I talk to him every day.

I don’t need to go to church or put my hands together. I don’t even need to close my eyes all I need to do is open my mouth. Talking to God is like breathing. This is why when God tells me to do something I just do it.  No arguments because God sees the bigger picture. He knows me better than anyone in the world. He knows how I’ll feel and how I’ll act.

At the end of the day it’s about you. People can say this and they can say that, but when it comes down to it. It’s going to be between you and God. It will be you and only you standing at the gates of heaven when you die.