Thursday, 22 May 2014

The day I decided enough was enough


I had been putting it off and putting it off. Ever since I went to my GP and he told me...
“You know you can check yourself into the hospital at any time”
I’d tell myself yes next week.  it was always Monday, Wednesday or Friday.
Those were the days everyone in the house went to church so the house was empty.
But every time 9PM would come and I’d still be in bed.
This continued for months
God was telling me

‘You need to do this...They won’t turn you away they can’t...All the future plans you have in your head starts with you checking yourself into hospital’

Another day came and went then it was
Wednesday 26th March 2014

Everyone had left before 7PM so I took that as a sign.  
At 7:28 I had a shower brushed my teeth and dressed up.  It was 8:30 and I made sure I had everything. I checked the weather realising it was cold I put on another jacket.
That’s it I was out the door, there was no turning back. I couldn’t even if I wanted to I was locked out. I would have to go all the way down to where my mum’s church is.
When I got to the main road I realised two things.
One I haven’t been on a bus on a bus in a while. I know they don’t sell bus passes any more (Only Oyster top ups) will I be able to pay my fare.
Two I forgot to write down how to get there. After a mountain of uming and ahing I went for bus 12 because I vaguely remember seeing it in the ‘how to get there section’
I arrived at the hospital at 9:30PM and went to the Reception I’d still be there now if I didn’t ask where to check in.
Answer: A and E...seams obvious, it’s my fault for watching too much TV.
I got to A and E took my ticket and waited my turn.
It took me...I’d say 2 hours to eventually see a psychiatrist.  
I spoke honestly and the best thing is I felt like I could. More waiting and they took me to a bed to lie down.  Then I was transferred to a women’s mental hospital. We got there around 6 in the morning. The nurses checked me over and showed me to my room.
The 2 hours of worry my sleep aside I had a great sleep.
It was the first time in months, years even that I haven’t thought about the ‘what’s next?’ question negatively 

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