I just had an accident with my ice cream (dropped it) and had to change my clothes. Literally just changed my shorts. I was trying to pick something up but I dropped my ice cream on myself.
10: 20am Murder she wrote on my iPad. Black tea in front of me. Watching tarot set me off. You know made my mood low. I think it might be time to stop for a while. When it stops being excited for the future and starts being frustration and anger. You've been saying this for years, since 2021tk be exact. Maybe I just need to except that my life is not temporary. That I will be single and in survival mode till I die.
Tea check: Drinkable
I've been thinking about death more and more this year. Mine and my families. I do believe a change is coming soon. Could it be my death. I feel safe in writing this because people have forgotten I exist. Nobody reads these but me. I'll put money on that. I see myself moving both physically and mentally. A drastic divine intervention by the hands of God. I think it's out of sight out of mind. I wonder what.is the thinking. I haven't heard from you in 10+ years. Do you think about me? Do you care if I'm alive? Obviously you thought I had friends around me. You were just living your life. It feels like when you have a question and then...that's it. In this day and age in my opinion you have no excuse to keep that question in your head. Because Google exists. The only explanation to the silence is they thought I was fine that I had other friends or they forgot I existed. I was for a while. I'm independent I don't really crave people. I'm still a human being though and at some point silence kills. It gives girl take a hint vibes. Maybe people I once called friends know I'm alive through social media. Maybe you were supporting in silence. That's fine but it needs to be loud now. I think this year is the end of it all. I'm feels like God is preparing me for living in the next chapter and I'm ready.
56 minutes, see you when I see you.
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