Friday, 7 April 2023

Morning page #210 better, I believe it

 Woke up...9: 48 I'm going to say, my phone was off and my laptop and the iPad were charging, well the iPad was.


10:15 am, went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I mixed Twinings Rooibos and honey and Twinings Raspberry and Lemon (that's my favourite) and peppermint tea. I was thinking of Moringa, but the version I brought is not the best. I think I'll just go back to the old one. Family Guy on Disney+, Road to the north pole, (a favourite episode of mine). I love the ones where you see Stewie and Brian. Or the ones where they travel in time or the ones where they sing. So basically all most of them.


I am so tired, I mean mentally (through physically too)


Tea check: Still too hot.


After watching a future spouse letter tarot reading. The gist was 


'Baby, rest you deserve it,'


Yes, anxiety and fear, I'm not working to live I'm fighting. There is always something. If I'm not thinking 'Am I wrong?' I'm thinking 'What more can I be doing?', I am in survival mode. Was it a mistake to say no to that course because it didn't sit right with my spirit? Because It's not something I see myself needing in my future. Plus I've done too many to mention of these courses, I still remember them, also I haven't used them. I'm frustrated but I don't have a give-up nature (I don't think that's the right word, but hey) in me. I've also had this 

'I am destined for better,' chip imprinted in my brain since birth, It has never wavered. 


When it comes to love my non-existent love life. I know there's a change coming. It's gonna happen pretty fast. I'll see the person I saw the previous month and she'll say 


"I didn't even know you were seeing anyone,'

and I'll say "Yea, I'm married now actually,"


All dreams are impossible before they become possible. The doubts make my walls stronger

35 minutes, see you when I see you.

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