I've been sleeping the opposite way I usually do on my bed. So I slept well and remembered some dreams. Woke at 9 am
I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of... well PJ tips which of all the black tea I've tried is definitely on my least favourite list. It might even be number one. I am awainting an appointment at 12. The last time my phone didn't work properly and my work coach couldn't hear me. That will not happen this time in Jesus' name.
I think the reason things haven't happened for me yet is because my walls were like jelly, and I didn't know what I wanted. I've been in this benefit situation since 17 years old on and off. Back then when someone would say do this course, go here to get your CV looked at (even though I haven't worked in 5 years I don't see how it would need to change) I agreed
number one because I didn't (and still don't) feel like I had a choice.
Number two...well what I said before I didn't know what was right and what was wrong.
Now my walls are stronger. When you say this course, I can't afford to say yes if I don't see myself using it in 5 years. I am focused I'm putting myself first for the first time in 37 years. Striping the people pleaser in me does come with its negativities like guilt and doubt.
Because I know it comes from a good place. It comes from maybe 80% success. From this is how everyone else does it. This makes me question if I'm missing an opportunity maybe, I'm missing an opportunity. Maybe I meant to say yes and do the course. But the fact is I'm not 17 and have experienced the consequences of not listening to my gut. This means I can't afford to say yes when I mostly want to say no. Having someone take advantage of my generosity cemented that.
I am manifesting my dream life, marriage, kids, happiness.
Everything else is a bonus.
41 minutes, see you when I see you.
PS: My appointment was rescheduled.
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