Woke @ 11: 54 am because my mum needed to tell me my sister is coming to take some rice and other stuff from the house. I really need that stuff to stop. I was not born for you. Mum says so and so is coming to collect a bag and can you open the door and give it. I stay awake for hours but that person never comes. And that's my day taken away.
On the bright side, I wanted to write a morning page today so there's that. But I am awake and angry because of the above also my restart booked me an appointment (Phone but still) for today when I had one yesterday. It's clearly a mistake, I already have tao deal with universal credit and restart appointments in the same week. I am not having three appointments in the same week no way...go away.
Oh forgot to say I made myself a Masala tea.
Tea check: It's at drinking temperature.
I'm thinking a lot about things I will not be taking with me to the future. If it makes me mad/angry. Come to think of it this started when I was doing my princess trust in 2002 and a girl asked me
'if you could be/ do anything what would it be?
She said
'If money was not an option and if you didn't need to do any studying for it what it be, If I said you could do it right now,'
My answer was a nurse. It may or may not surprise you that this wasn't my truthful answer. I honestly had no idea at that point. I've been trying to figure it out that and asking myself what will make me happy.
Ok, I've calmed down a little and had a little realization that the reason I hate being woken up is the same reason I hate being pushed to go faster. My own pace is essential (I've said this before) Because you wake me up before I was meant to and that disturbs the natural order of things.
39 minutes, there is a woman I want to be and until that point, I have work to do, see you when I see you.
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