10:27am cup of peppermint and strawberry tea in front of me.
I was watching Wentworth now I’m not (In that I paused it not that I switched it off).
Anyway, I was thinking about the list I mentioned the other day.
‘Things I need less of for my mental health,’
There’s three on my list so far
Number one: Drama, self-explanatory
Number two: High expectations from myself and others.
Number three: To…(how would I put this...) to worry less about the things I can not control.
Like for example, if I forget to do something it’s not on purpose. Yet I still tell myself I should have remembered, these things are out of my control. It just ruins the day because now that’s all I’m thinking about.
You know I won’t be able to get rid of it all together because that’s just how my brain works. I might be able to calm it down a little, it’s that strive for perfection thing that is now in me.
I mean you can’t just erase 30 years even if it is a learnt thing and not something that has always been. I’ve learnt to accept that this is me and I just need better ways to cope with what I’ve been dealt with. Like no matter how much I want this to be a cartoon it’s real life and I won’t ever be able to get rid of my negative voice. I can at least quiet it and calm it down.
19 minutes, see you when I see you.
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