Wednesday, 8 July 2020

Morning Pages #103

10:48 AM, Cup of tea and eight out 10 cats does countdown on my Mac. I haven't watched that show in months, just decided to binge-watch it from the beginning.

I'm going through a confusing, unsure period in my life. If you know me (or at least read these pages) you know I'm an overthinker so I never do things without thinking about it first. 
I'm unsure because when I have to have my first appointment at the jobcentre after coronavirus calms down. I know I need to be brutal about what I need and what I don't. I need to be honest about all the courses I'm put on (some of them are mandatory) there are decisions that I have made that to the outside world seemed like making my situation worse. They don't see the rest of it all they're seeing is a quarter of it. to be honest it's been a weight lifted off my shoulder (literally I'm standing up straighter) What I thought I needed in the past is different from what I need today. I thought I needed to take every confidence-building class going but I need to accept who I am. I thought I needed to make everyone happy to keep the peace but I need to make myself happy first even if it means no peace. I was reminded a couple of days ago that I was doing the right thing when they said ‘the most important person is you,’ so true.

29 minutes, see you when I see you       

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