Morning Pages #82

10:25 am, no nothing again today.

My mum is going overboard with her...uh...home remedies/ hacks for cleansing the home.  she's going to cook skins of fruits and inhale them. she put onion around the house. The latest is to wash everything in saltwater. The thing that's keeping me from saying what I'm  thinking from not saying this is ridiculous is she might be right.

Yes, I strongly don't think she is right, but I can't know for sure.

I was able to edit A YouTube video yesterday. One that I won't be posting for a while.

    

13 minutes, see you when I see you.

Morning pages #81

11: 03 am no nothing, I am watching Family Guy season 4.

We are in self-isolation, so I haven't left the house in a week (that's no different to if I wasn't in self-isolation, to be honest) I feel a little dear I say it....bored.

I need to use my time wisely. maybe I won't be able to finish this book, but I can make a dent in it. I've been thinking about my crush a lot recently (I never stop really) thinking about what his life is like now, what he's doing, how he is handling the isolation.

Overall, I feel happy about not being able (or more accurately not having to go out) because I'm not worried about the fact that I don't have a job or the fact I spend most of my time indoors. I'm not worried about the coronavirus, the only time I worry is when I reminded by the news, so I’ll just stay away from that.

12 minutes, see you when I see you.

Morning pages #80

9: 10 am, no nothing because my mum is doing her daily live broadcast on Periscope. something I haven't got the bug off yet, I say yet because I feel like it's something I will get into as opposed to something I never will like Snapchat and tik T.O.K (never say never)

my second book has been sitting untouched for at least a week, so I need to get back to that. I am also doing my poem a day challenge for this year, so I have that on my mind as well.

I was thinking about what things I stopped doing that make my life better, of which I can think of 2 as I write this.

number one: I stopped comparing myself to others.

number 2: I don't feel the need to explain myself to others.

because everything happens for a reason, I guarantee my reason will mean nothing to you, but it means something to me and that's all that matters.

19 minutes, see you when I see you.     

Morning Pages #79

11:21 am, no nothing in front of me because I’m about to go and make breakfast for the whole house, of which there are 3.

Why? No big reason you know, sometimes you do something just because.

I’m still trying to find my flow with the second book ‘After Time’. It’s 400 and something words right now, and it’s been that way for a week now. I did promise myself I wasn’t going to look at the word count (as much) that’s why it’s 400 and something. I felt this way many times writing the first, so I don’t think this one will any different. I ‘ll get past this hurdle. Maybe I should think about writing other scenes that would probably be a good idea, but I’m not too fond of things out of order.

9 minutes, see you when I see you 

Morning pages #78

10:40 am a cup of hot water in front of me.

I have an appointment at the jobcentre at 1:30 today.

I’m not looking forward to it...I never look forward to it.

I always see my appointments…always worry extremely about them even though it’s always okay.

I always think the worst is going to happen like my work coach will kill me, even though she is the sweetest person alive and that probably won’t happen. It’s not only when I know I’m going to be late(which I won’t be today)

(update: I wasn’t, but it was touch and go)

It’s every time I have an appointment, that’s why I know I need to be done with the jobcentre and also why I know I need to move out. Both of those things probably won’t happen this month or next.

I hope it happens soon.

Eleven minutes, see you when I see you.   

Morning Pages #77 Love life

10:31 am, no drink in front of me, just Graze snacks, came 20 minutes ago. I recently switched from the baker box to the everything box or savoury box. So, I get a lot of nuts in my box. Now actually come to think about it I think that has a lot to do with why I’ve lost some weight, along with the drinking more water habit.

I’ve been thinking about my love life or lack thereof. Who are we kidding as a single woman over 18 I’m always thinking about it, but particularly after watching Buzzfeed’s the truth about being a single woman,’ a few weeks ago. How the media influences and yea. Do I want to fall in love, get married, have kids (in that order) because that’s what I want or because anything else would be unacceptable? Yes I want it, but for me since I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, let alone in 10 years. I’m trying not to think the meeting someone ending as the be-all and end-all. I’m thinking of it as something to tick off my list as opposed to something to complete me, make me whole.

20 minutes, see you when I see you.

Morning Pages #76 Book 2

9:45 am, a bottle of water in front of me instead of tea (it probably won’t become a habit) because I’m trying to drink more water.

It’s been 38 days or five weeks since my last blog post, two days before I posted my first novel ‘In my shoes,’ on amazon. First attempt didn’t go well because it ended up in A4 form. So I had to warn people not to buy it until I got it fixed, I hope no one brought it. I think this is just something I will laugh about in the future. At least now I know what to do with the next book. I started it four days ago, it’s called ‘After Time’.  I think I started the last book around this time too. Don’t want it to take as long as the first. I’m aiming for it to be done this year, but I’m trying not to put too much presser on myself.

30 minutes, see you when I see you