Wednesday 10 April 2024

Morning Page #268

Woke at 10:30 ish, maybe 10:58ish. Went to the toilet (number one). Then to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Thought about making a chai. 

11:11 a cup of Glow Twinings and Peppermint tea in front of me. I was watching YouTube later lists but it's stopped playing during the night. I had my JBL headphones in as I slept and they were not in my ear when I woke, had a little panic attack. I found them on the bed, I think I won't do that again. Though I might forget about today.

I think the world has it all wrong. First half of my life was giving people excuses for their behavior. Kid in the playground bullies the weakest. Then we either do nothing or suspend them for a week. I don't care if the kid is going through two divorces. You know exactly what you were doing. The world has over corrected I think. They want to give bully the benefit of the doubt. But you forgot about the other person in this equation. It's the way the news reports mass shootings. They'll say here's what happened, here's who died, here's who did it. Here are the reasons why you should feel sorry for them. Tell me about the victims before you say anything about killer. This is what I have grown up with. I have ignored my own feelings, I told myself to not feel this, I feared being judged, that ends today. Today I want to live in relax and peace. 
Just now I drop something and couldn't find it. I decided to stop searching. Just now as I sat down to write this I looked over and saw it was stuck in my posters on my wardrobe, this is a sign. It's a lesson that had to be learned. God will give you everything you desire, you just need to stop searching. 

58 minutes, see you when I see you.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Morning Page #269

 Woke at II: II today from a dream about my future hubby. I think the message was about standing still, and not chasing what I want. Lettin...