Friday, 20 January 2023

Morning page #196 I ain’t playing (crush)

Woke 11:17 am and then I went to the toilet. Replaced the almost finished toilet paper (‘cough’ pet peeve) I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea.

11:40 a cup of dark Carmel tea in front of me. YouTube watch list on my Chrome laptop. I have an appointment at 2:15 today. I feel a little anxious about it. My way to deal with it is to focus on the fact it is temporary. Like my appointment is 2:15, so I focus on the knowledge that 5pm the appointment will be over, and I will be back in my room on my bed.

 

Tea check: Too hot.

 

I’m not playing this year, manifesting, manifesting, manifesting. I’m no longer telling myself I’m getting ever single one of those things I want and more.

 

[1] UC out of my life

      Though I am grateful for what it gave me (mainly money). I know that if it were not there I would struggle. Saying that UC is the main reason for my stress.

 

[2] My love life

      to be in a relationship. To be in a relationship with the guy I have been in love with since 2006. Despite the fact that I still remember the first time we met and was crushing since that moment. I don’t believe in love at first sight. I have always been reluctant to call it love because I had known him less than a month when the word love came into my head. I told my self

‘No you don’t.’

 

Because of reasons. Here’s something I’ve never told anyone less than a month before I met him. God told me you will met the man you are going to marry this year.

 

I am manifesting my dream life. No more hope and pray. It’s I’m alive so it will happen.

37 minutes, see you when I see you.

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