11:54 am a cup of loose leaf tea in front of me. American dad on my IPad.
I've been feeling sorry for myself these past few days. Nowadays days I am very aware when I am going down people-pleasing avenue. Like Iying I dont like it and it's hard to not feel un confortable when I am doing It. Feeling sorry because I am still in survival mode. That my dream life hasn't started yet. I want to be married and have kids. I want to not have to be forced to people please. Explaining what l am doing and why in every step of the way. This is what has slowed me down I've realised like right now. I am in love that is a fact, with someone who doesn't even see me as a friend let alone a romantic option.
I had to do some admin work...sorry was forced to do some admin work for my mother. I don't think she understands the work that goes into it. I hate it and it stresses me out to no end. I need to not be doing it at all. 2025 is the year. I'M telling you she better find other arrangements. I was forced to become her receptionist I don't want that for my future.
If the point is not my dreams and daydreams becoming reality, what is it.
Is he happily married? Does he have kids? Is he even alive?
45. minutes, see you when I see you.
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