Morning Pages #14 What my mother taught me.

9: 48am, today I have some hot water. Hot water is great for cleansing the body. Another thing I learnt from my mother, I make this number one hundred three hundred and something, something. The Fix is on my phone, I like it, but I don’t think I’m going to add it to my list. I’m just meh about it, acting is great, the storyline is great, I’m just…meh. I don’t know how to explain it.
Ooh Uriel from Supernatural, haven’t seen him since I saw him on the show.
Here is where I wonder If I’ve said this before. I’m working on the second draft of my novel ’In My Shoes,’ This book is about a girl called Lisa, who comes out, but her best friend is the only one who supports her.

An actor who killed himself on ‘Proven Innocent’ I know it’s not real, but I can’t help but think ‘you should be dead,’

I remember seeing the main actor Adewale Akinnuoye- Agbaje in OZ. He had an African accent then he has a British accent now (after doing some research I found out he was born in London). I loved him then I love him now. He is one of the actors that may keep me watching. Second Robin Tunney (I thought there was an I in her second name) from The Mentalist, I loved her then I love her now. Third Merrin Dungey from…well a lot of stuff, Once upon a time, The Resident, Conviction, Brooklyn Nine-Nine to name a few, I loved her then I love her now (note to self: write a poem tilted I loved him then I love him now) The actor that killed himself on ‘Proven Innocent,’ killed himself on ‘The Fix,’ too.

(Note to self: write a poem titled What my mother taught me,)
32 minutes, see you when I see you.

Morning Pages #13 Soup

6:55am, today I have a bowl of soup in front of me. Does that count as a hot drink, I will mostly be drinking it (BTW, I know it doesn’t actually matter whether I have a hot drink or not, but you’ll take away a lot of my writing, so I’ll continue) I had a dream breakthrough with my book ‘In my shoes’ after getting rejected by my first publishers, I decided to edit it further, I think it was because it was too short.

‘US’ was amazing last night, it’s one of those projects where there were no weak links, like a puzzle. ‘US’ staring Lupita Nyong’o and Winston Duke was very jumpy, my heart was beating faster for most of the movie. It wasn’t scary for me because I don’t get scared at horror movies. Came home last night at 12:00pm. I decided to watch Velvet Buzzsaw on Netflix, weird that’s how I would describe that movie. Paintings come to life and try to kill you. Unicorn Store is a film I didn’t think I’d like but I did. Time for a Soup refill.

30 minutes, see you when I see you.

Morning Pages #12 Hot chocolate

5:47am today I’m having hot chocolate or at least I will when my Grandma gets out of the kitchen.  Binge watching She’s got to have it, I watched the first episode when it first came put (and loved it). It got lost in the shows I needed to catch up on.

I’m going to watch ‘US’ in the cinema with friends today. My prediction, I’m gonna love it, I’ve heard only good things. The last movie I watched at the cinema was ‘the hate U give’

I had a dream that was sitting at a table with my laptop, I’m guessing in Australia. Jackie Woodburne who plays Susan Kennedy on Neighbours sat down in front of me. Then I was on top of a building, it was like I was in a video game, the controller was in front of me. It took me a while to take the controller (with the whole scared of heights thing). I took the controller in both my hands and I ended up in a toy shop (I guess) there were a lot of cuddly toys in front of me.  I grabbed what I could, and that’s when I woke up.

I don’t know what else to say so I’m just going to leave it there. This is another short one, but it took me 50 minutes to write (gotta love writers block)

See you when I see you.

Morning Pages #11 My Grandma

9:43am had another argument with my Grandma. It started when she told my Mum I hit her.  This is argument number 1000…and one. Yesterday she knocked on my door and said

‘Look at you, you don’t even know how to ask me If I want to eat,' 

So I closed the door, nothing else. My Grandma has a Demon inside her. It’s the kind of Demon that breaths by arguing, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had pointless or unnecessary arguments with her. A Demon that is angry all the time. A Demon who is always mad. A Demon who can see you having fun and wants to stop it immediately.

I don’t know if she’s always been like this because I’ve only known her as my Grandma. I meet her when I was 8 and before her, I never met anyone like her. In recent years I have stopped treating myself like something on the bottom of my shoe, so I don’t accept it from anyone else and that has essentially changed my relationship with my Grandma because I have switched off the Demon whenever it wakes.

Talking to her is like flipping a coin to a multiple-choice question and whatever you land on is wrong. I can’t live like that anymore, I refuse to live like that anymore.

20 minutes today, see you when I see you.

Morning Pages #10 Food, no hot drink

10:44am, I’m breaking the rules today by eating instead of having a hot drink, but I’m hungry I rarely usually hungry this time. My YouTube watch list is on my computer. My list is 200+ I need to get that down.  Yesterday’s Escapril prompt was April showers.
I had a dream that I was in a building, I was up high looking down (like in the audience of a theatre) it was high enough that I was reminded of the time I realised I was scared of heights. I was at my best friend’s house. Who lived on the top floor (5th floor). When my friend was opening her front door, I looked over the side and I was shocked, it felt like ‘Oh, I didn’t know that about myself…anyway, I digress.

Something was going on down on the stage (I guess). Tried to find another way down because I was too scared to use the stairs. It was just out in the open, only a handrail and stairs. I opened a door found some stairs I was willing to use. I came across a group of women in a  poetry group. I sat down wrote a poem, but I was told I couldn’t join anyway. I got to the stage, it was a stage not it wasn’t a stage before. Ant and Dec were being interviewed on the stage.
33 minutes today.

See you when I see you.

Morning Pages #9 Not a nightmare.

You know when you go to sleep at 7pm and wake up at 2am, that. So, I went 
Back to sleep, woke up again at 9:23. I’ve been writing the time when I wake up, but I should be writing it when I actually start writing. (9:35am)
Family Guy season 3 is playing on my DVD player.

I had a dream last night that a girl came back home it sort of looked like a prison, but it probably wasn’t because women and men don’t stay in the same prison together or do, they. There was a man who was trying to get her to hurt her and she was very scared. The man and his crew got to her room, they were about to kick their way in when someone caught them.

I don’t know why I had that dream could be because I watched ‘Escape Room’ (2017). It wasn’t a nightmare (I rarely get those) It was like I was watching a TV Show.

Yesterday's poem went well, my ‘A Fresh Start’ poem was written in 27 minutes. It was an acrostic poem. A poem in which the first letter of each sentence starts with A FRESH START.
I’ve been thinking about what my teacher for 'Ace that interview' said
She said ‘Make a portfolio so that’s what I have added to my to-do list.
It’s 9:50am, 15 minutes, Oh. But like I said don’t continue when I’m done,
See you when I see you

Morning Pages #8 ESCAPRIL

It’s a little late today, later than it’s ever been much later than it’s ever been, it’s 10: 37am.
I didn’t sleep well yesterday because my gums were hurting me. In fact, I only just got to sleep a few hours ago. My gums don’t hurt as much, which is great.
Today is April first, YouTuber Savanna Brown is doing this challenge (which I think she did last year). The challenge is to write a poem for every day this month. There’s a prompt for each day. I decided to not write any poems in advance. So, at this very minute. I don’t know what I’m going to write for today, I don’t even know what the prompt is yet.
I kept myself busy watching movies on Netflix.
Short, very short, no timer, let’s just say it was 30 minutes.

See you when I see you.